Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
My dad just said "fuck circus"
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
