I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize