Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize