wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
She needs sedatives and a leash
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
