Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize