Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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