i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
this will be a night to untag.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
