he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
