i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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