I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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