Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
