If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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