I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
There's always time for handjobs
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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