is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
