I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Houston, we have a blender
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize