Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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