Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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