Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
