no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
