the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
You pole danced in your parka.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
