Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize