He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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