You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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