...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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