The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I want her autograph on my taint
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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