ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
