u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
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