Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i just made my gag reflex go away.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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