I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
