He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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