you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I forgot how hot balto sounded
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
