haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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