We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
