we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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