You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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