I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
