I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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