man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
