It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
