I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
