Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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