Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
