Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
being pregnant is like rehab
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
