Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
