If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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