My cat gives me a boner
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
