i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
