Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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