I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Come on in and take your pants off
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