the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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