hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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