Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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