oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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