lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
we have officially lost it.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
