p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
