Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I need to calm my uterus...
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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