People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Randomize
