I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize