Nicole vs. Life
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
