My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
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