there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize