just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
a search helicopter?!
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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