Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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