So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I lost the right to judge tonight
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
