please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
