he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
